Archive for June, 2010


Although this might be mistaken for a joke, one that ends up with you in the hospital or at minimum, with scratches up and down your arms, this is actually meant to be a helpful guide to medicate your cat.

If you currently are “owned” by a cat, you know that unless you got “Rocky” as a baby – meaning under 3 months when he learned socialization, you already know that unlike dogs, he dislikes being handled, loathes being bathed and the thought of being force fed anything, whether in dropper or pill form is enough to make the claws come out. If you own a dog as well, you know all you need do is wrap the pill in peanut butter and watch him chow down.

Rest assured, you will be able to rid him of whatever ailment is plaguing the poor thing. At this juncture, it’s appropriate to point out that if you live through this experience, it is going to be comical.

This technique is best achieved with two people. Assuming this the first time you’re attempting this, unless you possess four arms, a harness and the reflexes of a cornered cat, you may wish to enlist the aid of a friend, your spouse, a sibling or even the letter carrier.

The first thing is to make sure both your partner and you are wearing long pants and long sleeves. This minimizes the pain considerably. Next is to have all the pills or droppers lined up in a towel and ready to go. This means you’ve already crushed, measured, filled the dropper and all that’s left is the execution, um, so to speak!

Before resulting to the “towel technique” try first to win Rocky over with your charm. Without scaring him, see if you can pick Rocky up and place him on your lap facing away from you. It’s best if the one Rocky trusts the most be the one to hold him. He will hate both of you, but you a little less than the one who’s agreed to spare his life for you.

Hold Rocky’s forearms and bear down on him. A scared cat has an uncanny way of developing super human strength in these situations.

Your partner, already having the meds in her hand, will force Rocky’s mouth open using one hand – she will need the other to administer – indeed Rocky will have developed the jaws of a pit bull by this point. If it’s a pill, your partner must shove it as far into the throat as possible, not to induce gagging but if it’s resting on the tongue, your cunning Rocky will spit it out and laugh at you. If it’s a dropper, do the same.

If another dose is necessary, do encourage her to hurry, as you must surely feel you are wrestling a mountain lion. It’s advisable that you not allow Rocky the opportunity to stretch. It’s a ploy, one that will surely result in the loss of your partner’s eye or ear.

Confirm that your partner is done. Don’t assume anything. The pill may have fallen on the floor or Rocky may have spit up half the dropper. Once you let Rocky go, it will be hours before you can re-catch him, now that he’s on to you. If after all this Rocky is still talking to you and hasn’t opened up the classified section in search of a new roommate, make sure you praise him profusely and pay your partner handsomely.